Captain Something

Let’s make a superhero
Someone everyone can care about
He’s got a cape and a mask
And wears his underwear on the outside
Which is more than traditional
(It makes for easy getaways from the phantom cheetah ladies)

Alright. So, alright. Can he fly?
Does he have the strength of ten men
For carrying furniture or heavy groceries?
Is he tall enough to grab things from the top shelf in a single reach?
Does he have psychic eyes that look right into you
Like x-rays but without penetrating your regalia, uninvited
Penetrating your soul

But mostly and chiefly
He can
He can
He can simply move mountains

Which is not to say he knows where to put them
Maybe he moves a mountain and that mountain was supposed to stay where it was
Maybe he has park rangers all over the world hunting for him
Because he fucked up Jellystone or Yellowstone or Mt. Vesuvius

It’s a specialized power
It only comes into play in certain storylines

Is he invulnerable?
He is vulnerable to both conventional and non-conventional arms
Missile, melee, and energy attacks
Effected by both heat and cold
Incinerated by atomic energy, fricasseed by electricity
Special weakness to neuro-gas
Poisons, toxins, and alien diseases
Elemental furies, severe thunderstorms, and unfavorable chills
Virtually helpless against magical and mental assault
Name calling is the worst

Because vulnerability makes the character more accessible

But he’s totally dedicated to his sense of justice
Whenever he can figure out what that is

And he can move mountains
(If you need a mountain moved)
Few people ever really do


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